I still believe it
by JellerSquad
Summary: Months after Jane escaped from the CIA, things between them are not are their best. One night, one of them decides to put their pride aside and talk.


Jane was at the safe house getting ready to go to bed. It had been a long day and she was exhausted. There were too many thoughts running freely inside her mind which made her feel sad and alone. She sat on the edge on the bed for a few minutes. The house was too silent, too empty; the wind's howling made her feel even lonelier, and the constant knocking of the cold rain against her window made her feel even sadder.

Lost in her thoughts, she startled when she heard the doorbell rang. The fact that there was someone at her door at that late hour surprised her. Her days were always the same: at day she was at the office with the team, at nights she went straight home. There wasn't much more to do, especially now that her relationship with team members wasn't at its best.

Halfheartedly she came down the stairs. A blast of cold wind sneaked into the house when she opened the door, making her shiver. To her surprise and confusion, Weller was there. She stood there, staring at him, without saying a word. He looked at her, not quite sure of what to say, so he didn't say anything. The silence was intense and uncomfortable.

— Weller, what are you doing here? It's almost midnight — Asked Jane

— Jane... — it was hard for him to say these words — we need to talk.

 _Talk? About what_. She thought. She stood there, holding her glance. Kurt felt that the piercing gaze of those beautiful green eyes was going to kill him.

— What can be so important? Couldn't you just have waited until tomorrow or…?

— Jane...please — he replied in a low voice, it was almost a plea.

Jane looked at him with a little sadness, she was tired and nervous. Kurt's blue eyes seemed to reflect a great sorrow. She couldn't do much against those eyes, so she silently moved to let him in and guided him to the living room.

— Would you like...some coffee? Or…

— No, thanks, I'm fine — He said before she could finish her sentence

Kurt came a little closer to her, both of them with their eyes fixed on each other.

— What was so important? — She asked.

— I know that… — he averted his eyes, looked down, and then looked at her again — things between us have...changed…

Jane swallowed, she knew where this conversation was going.

— I know that things between us are not at their best — Kurt continued talking.

— Kurt — Jane interrupted him — It's ok, we don't have to talk about his. — She said trying to avoid this conversation.

— Yes, we have to — He insisted — Or at least I have to.

They remained in complete silence for a few minutes. Kurt didn't know how to start talking, thousands of thoughts came into his mind.

— I truly never wanted…  
— I know — She interrupted him again — We already talked about that.

— I know, but it's something that is going to haunt me for the rest of my life. All you have been trough...was my fault...was..

— Kurt! — She raised her voice — We both made mistakes. We both could have made things in a different way, but we didn't. It's done. It's in the past.

He looked at her, confused.

— It's not in the past, Jane. I feel everything between us have changed, and not for better, and I feel you don't care about it

Those words hurt. She felt she was about to cry, but she didn't.

— Kurt…

— I know our...relationship...it's hard, it's complicated. And I feel that every time we come closer… something else takes us away...you walk away.

— It's true things between us have changed — She said — But it's up to us to make that changes work for better or for worse.

Jane turned her face from him and looked to her right side. She didn't want to cry, so she took some seconds to try to relieve the pain in her heart and hide her imminent tears Kurt's eyes were still on her.

— I am truly sorry you feel I don't care — She added — because I do care. It's just that...I don't know how...and I don't want you to get hurt because of me...I… — She wasn't able to finish her sentence. A tear rolled down her cheek, then another one, and another one.

— Jane.

Her name was the only word he could pronounce. She looked so fragile, and he still felt so guilty. At that moment, he didn't think about what he was doing, he just followed his instinct, he closed the gap between them, took her in his arms and embraced her.

She held onto him, rested her head on his shoulder and began to cry. He just held her, letting her know with his body language he was there for her. Then he loosed his grip, just enough to see her face and wipe her tears. Jane closed her eyes, breathing slowly. When she opened her eyes saw Kurt making a huge effort to not to cry.

— I'm sorry

— We all make mistakes, Jane. But more important than that, are the things we do to fix them.

— I know...it's just that…I've made you suffer. You went through a lot of bad things because of me — she said as she released herself from his arms and took a seat on the couch. — The truth is that I never wanted to talk about this because I'm ashamed. I don't deserve your forgiveness.

— We all deserve forgiveness.

— Not me — she replied and started to cry again — I am a terrible person, and you know it. I'm trying to run away from my past, but someday it will find me, and I won't know what to do. — She closed her eyes, fighting back tears.

Jane felt Kurt's presence beside her, and then his arms around her body once again, she hugged him back, while she rested her head on his chest. He didn't say a word, he held her tight, close to him, caressing her hair and trying to calm her. He finally spoke, very softly, but enough for her to hear him.

— Do you remember what I once told you? It doesn't matter what kind of person you were before, you are not that person anymore, Jane. I still believe it.

Jane smiled. She liked being there, in Kurt's arms, he brought her peace 

— Do you remember what I once told you in this very same room? — Jane asked him — told you: you are my starting point. I still believe it.

He looked at her and smiled. She smiled him back. Kurt placed his left hand on her cheek, caressing her gently. She couldn't help blushing a little. They stayed there, gazing into each other's eyes. Then Jane looked down.

— Kurt? — she whispered.

— Yes?

— I'm scared. I'm afraid of losing you...again.

— You won't. — He said. — May I asked you something? — She looked at him

— Yes.

— What if we start again? — he whispered smiling, really close to her.

— I like that idea.

Kurt felt her warm hands intertwined behind his neck, caressing him. He closed his eyes, it was a pleasant sensation, something he believed he would never experience again. He took her by the waist, drawing her closer, then Jane closed the small gap between them with a kiss. The kiss they had been waiting since the day of their re-encounter, the kiss they both had believed impossible. Then they put a small distance between them, just enough to look at each other. All the confusion, fear, nervousness of the previous moments were gone.

— Whatever happens from now on, remember, we are together in this — he told her while he placed a gentle kiss on her forehead.


End file.
